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10 Apr

How to Get Your Sex Life Back into Shape

By    |   Wednesday, April 10, 2013   |   Contributers   |   Leave a comment

Happy coupleRemember when you first started dating your partner? Everything was new and exciting. Sex was an adventure, dates were thrilling and you always anticipated when you got to see them next. Now you’re married or at least very comfortable and things are great for a different reason. But with comfort and time comes routine…

While figuring out a morning routine, a weekend cleaning routine and even a date night routine are all good, finding yourself deep into a sexual routine is not. A serious relationship does not have to mean less imaginative sex that happens every Tuesday at 9PM. Keeping your sex life alive and interesting is imperative to your relationship’s success and it’s not like it doesn’t come with its benefits.

But what to do? You’ve already pulled out all the stops with your partner, right? Maybe you’ve tried the outdoor sex, the porn, the role playing and dirty talk… but, have you tried sex toys?

Consider adding a few of these perfect couple-centric sex toys to your next bedroom adventure and watch how your routine can go to anything but.

Sex Swing–
A sex swing is a great addition for any couple who tends to go for the same positions every time. Sex swings can be hung from the ceiling or affixed to a stand. They allow you to access positions that beds, floors and showers don’t allow for, as well as promote sexual creativity. A sex swing is absolutely guaranteed to change your sex life. Plus who doesn’t want to swing to an orgasm?

G Spot Vibrator–
This is a great toy if you’ve been having a hard time reaching that elusive g spot orgasm or if your partner’s hand has been getting bent out of shape trying to get you there. Turn up your oral party and experience full body fun with one of these toys that’s designed to specifically target your g spot. Don’t know how to find it? Start here.

Sex Furniture–
Exactly what it sounds like, sex furniture is a fun way to try out new positions and achieve deeper penetration. Many pieces of sex furniture merely look like geometric mats that you would see in a gymnastics routine, but others are actually designed to look like furniture. You can keep these beauts out in your living room and they’ll go undetected. Much like the sex swing, sex furniture inspires creativity and exploration, as well as totally intensifies your experience. These pieces can be found at sex stores or online retailers like adult toys from Adam & Eve.

Bondage Kit–
A bondage kit can be great for the couple who is looking to explore a little BDSM. This might be the toy of choice if you read Fifty Shades of Grey recently and were intrigued. Bondage kits typically come with some sort of restraint system, whether it be tape, hand cuffs or one you fit the mattress, as well as blind folds, assorted toys and a whip. Teach your partner how to be a true sub by showing them who’s boss. BDSM can teach you how to explore each other in a different way and learn your own physical limits.

Cock Ring–
If you’re looking to make a change, but the past few toys are kind of a leap, consider trying a cock ring instead. These toys are a great addition that add to your experience without being too intrusive. A cock ring is slipped down the shaft and adds pressure as well as vibration during the deed. It can also lead to a harder erection that even lasts longer, who doesn’t want that? Look for a vibrating silicone cock ring for your first go round.

28 Jan

Mixam’s Hot 10 of 2013

By    |   Monday, January 28, 2013   |   Erousal   |   Leave a comment

mixamRecently, Maxim released its Hot 100 List where visitors can vote for their favorite sexy lady. But a close look at this list reveals that it’s mostly actresses and models. Now, not to disparage these professions, but sexy women are capable of a much greater diversity of activities. To honor this diversity, I’ve put together my own list: The Mixam Hot 10 List. I’ve nominated the first few – sexy, smart ladies whose primary field isn’t acting or modeling. They write books, play music, do science, advocate politically, and otherwise strut their beauty AND their brains. Visitors are encouraged to nominate and vote for their own favorites. At the close of 2013, I’ll be announcing the top 10!

Please join me in expanding our notion of what a beautiful woman can do with her life!

1) VOTE! View the nominees here, then click on the name of who you would like to vote for then click the grey “VOTE” button. (You can vote once a day and you can vote for more than one lady.)

2) NOMINATE someone for this list by emailing sarah@sarahwhitedaily.com with her name and a link to a photo and information about her.

xxoo
Sarah White

29 Sep

New Daily Sarah Emails: Get E-roused with Free Photos, Thoughts and Private Chat

By    |   Saturday, September 29, 2012   |   Erousal   |   10 Comments

Welcome to my E-rousal Therapy Email List sign-up page.
*Update: The first phase of this newsletter was sent out from September to December, 2012. This newsletter will be available in a new form due for release June, 2013. Enter your email below and I’ll notify you when it’s up!





I believe that for anyone to fully realize themselves, they need to be in touch with their arousal on a regular basis. To help you get there, I’m pleased to announce my new E-rousal Therapy service, where you can receive emails from me that contain an arousing thought and/or photo of me. Also, you can email me back with your ideas, needs and concerns – anything you want! – and I’ll promptly, personally, and privately respond, so as you go through your day, I’m always with you, in both image and word. A sweet little something, just between us, to help you feel the arousal you need to get ahead.

So if paying for Naked Therapy sessions is outside your budget or too difficult to arrange with your schedule, this doesn’t mean you can’t have some private Sarah time. Use my E-rousal Therapy system to get turned on, feel inspired, and share your private thoughts with me, and in return you’ll get a personal, arousing response that will lift your spirits, empower your desires, and propel you confident through your day. After all, a little Sarah can go a long way.  :-)

Let’s get aroused together!

xxoo

Sarah White

10 Sep

Flashing – Crime or Protest?

By    |   Monday, September 10, 2012   |   Naked Advice   |   1 Comment

Question: I want to ask what your thoughts are on flashing and flashers in general. Do you, like probably most of the general population, believe that it is an illness and wrong (a form of sexual assault). Or are you like me and feel that it’s because of some people’s fear and disgust of the human body that gives flashers the urge or extra incentive to seek a reaction from flashing. If people weren’t so outraged or disgusted with the human body, flashers wouldn’t get a reaction from the flashee. Aside from that, I think that flashing is no different from people who wear tight, reavealling or provocative clothing, in that consciously or subconsciously they get off on getting a rise/reaction out of people. I’d really value your opinion, because I occasionally flash and I want to know if I’m wrong in my thinking and reasoning.

Response:
This is a good question. First, I have to say that if flashing is illegal where you live, and it probably is, then I don’t advocate you do it. There are reasons for anti-flashing laws, and my sense is that they’re good reasons.

Now, I am as concerned and distressed and confused by the current general reaction to nudity as you are. It baffles me that people aren’t allowed to walk around naked whenever they want, that we have a very closed and hostile view toward the naked body, etc. I think it has a lot of unhealthy ramifications for our minds and our bodies and our society in general. What a fun world it would be if nudity was way more accepted.

But it’s not, and I don’t think forcing nudity on people is the way to change that. If you talk to a group of women, you’re going to find that most of them consider being flashed to be an act of violence. Of course, there’s a difference here: being flashed in broad daylight as you walk down the sidewalk with your brother and his five big friends is different than being flashed when you’re all alone at night trying to get into your apartment. The issue is the threat. If something’s threatening, it’s scary, and most people take flashers as threatening because it seems to indicate sexual aggression, even if it rarely does.

So, sure. People are hung up about nudity, but I don’t think submitting them to an act that they take to be violent is the way to cure them of it. And saying that people shouldn’t be hung up about nudity because that would deflate the thrill flashers get is like saying people shouldn’t die when they get shot because that would negate the purpose of shooting someone. People do die when they get shot, and people do feel violated and scared and repulsed by being flashed. They can’t help it anymore than someone can help dying when they get shot.

At least they can’t help it in their current state, but, of course, there’s more wiggle room in reactions to nudity than there are in reactions to bullets. People CAN have a broader, freer, healthier view of nudity, and it’s that that we should be working toward. Flashing them will not do that. You need to show them some respect, even if they are, in your opinion, totally uptight. Remember, most people had their repulsions and morals thrust upon them by their parents, so they didn’t even choose them, so have some understanding and don’t subject them to things that are practically hard-wired into their system.

Now, flashers get a thrill out of flashing, and it can be hard to ignore that thrill, that urge, or that need, whatever you call it. But it’s illegal, and it’s seen as violent, and it’s counter-productive to the ultimate goal of bringing about a more open attitude toward nudity. So my advice is, fight the urge to flash, don’t do it, and instead talk to your friends about nudity, talk on online forums about nudity, write articles about nudity, go to nudist colonies, be a naked advocate and try to open peoples’ minds. That is non-violent, and that is the only way to real progress.

16 Aug

Naked Star: Super Beauty

By    |   Thursday, August 16, 2012   |   Naked Awards, Naked Star   |   1 Comment

While there are a lot of sites out there that feature pictures of naked women, and many of them work hard to make the claim they are “erotica” and not “porn” and that their models are “happy” to be on their site, etc., there is one site that stands out, and has for years, as not only dedicated genuinely to the purely erotic, but also to activism about and representation of women and nakedness, and that’s SuperBeauty.org. I find their dedication to justice and beauty to be so truly authentic and committed (above and beyond the erotic photos they feature) that I am even willing to put a link to their site on my main website…the only such “naked” site I promote. You can check out an interview I did with them about a year ago here: Super Beauty Interview

In a sense, SuperBeauty.org is on a mission to make the world realize that there is nothing wrong with being naked, with being a woman, and with putting the two together. In our culture, that is sadly still the case in many peoples’ minds, despite the fact that almost everyone now has a naked or near-naked photo of themselves on the web. SuperBeauty.org is dedicated to calling out people who espouse prejudice or hatred against women and anyone interested in being naked, and they also see themselves as being a clearinghouse for sites that provide quality erotica free of the less appealing sides of online pornography. And I support them for it, and hereby give them a Naked Star.

And how can I not when their manifesto runs like this:

Welcome to a new age in the evolution of the human being — a time when female beauty and sexuality are finally freed. Welcome to the world of SuperBeauty.Org.

SuperBeauty.Org is a group of independent websites united in a modern movement to change the world and improve the human condition through the creation, admiration, understanding, moral defence and political protection of female beauty and sexuality throughout the world.

We believe that with the exception of the human mind, there is no more powerful and moral tool for human survival, success and happiness than the female body. We believe it turns women into goddesses, not anorexics or sluts. We believe it turns men into lovers, fathers, creators and providers, not monsters. Rather than robbing children of their innocence, we believe it gives them their very lives, and turns them into healthy adults, not perverts. Rather than eventually destroying the world, we believe it is here to save it. Thus we believe that the attacks we see on female beauty and/or the women who possess and use it are attacks on all of us, on our children, on our motivation and moral rectitude, on our future, and on our essential humanity.

These attacks must end. We are here to oppose them. If you would like to see what the world looks like when women and their beauty are finally allowed to freely work their wonders, we invite you to enjoy the websites at SuperBeauty.Org. If you have a site devoted to female beauty or to an inspiring beautiful women, send us the link to your website and we’ll tell you how to get started.

The time is now to let the whole world see female beauty naked in all her power and glory. Put a SuperBeauty.Org banner or link on your site. Join us in helping female beauty to make the world a more beautiful — and better — place.

Beauty will save the world. But it could use a little help from us.

— D.Bell

The Naked Star is given to a website or article that has shown awesome bravery in expressing truth in the areas of psychology, health, sexuality and/or culture.

10 Aug

Stress and Beauty

By    |   Friday, August 10, 2012   |   Essays, Press   |   6 Comments

tomsullivanA recent study in England found an interesting outcome from stress. The researchers took white British male subjects and submitted half of them to a stress-causing experience (a job interview and a difficult mental task). Each group (the stressed and the unstressed) were then shown some pictures of different women with different body types and asked to judge which they found beautiful. What was discovered was that the stressed out men had a wider range of body types that they considered “attractive.” In other words, stressed men were more likely to be turned on by plumper women.

There are a number of interesting elements here. First, as the researchers point out, male assessments of beauty are very culture specific. They might have gotten exactly the opposite results had they used black American males as their subjects. I remember reading an article in which different plastic surgery preferences were analyzed according to different ethnicities. It turned out that white American women mostly got butt reductions, while black and Latina American women tended to get butt enhancements. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so the results of this study are very specific to the group of men studied. But if you think you are one of that group, or you are in a relationship with one of that group, then the study pertains to you.

I think there are two ways to view this study, which I’ll call the negative and the positive. The negative view is that stressed men are more likely to be depressed and insecure, so they are like less likely to think they can attain their ideal, so they therefore lower their ideals and try to attain less. In this instance, the data is interpreted as signifying a “wider selection of body types” as a lowering of the beauty ideal. The positive view is that stressed men are more likely to shift their ideal to a woman who is more attainable, more secure, and more likely to be a long-term partner who can contribute emotionally and economically, thus bringing more stability.

I can say from experience with my clients that some men are stuck desiring an ideal woman rather than desiring the kind of woman they can actually score. This leads to frustration, loneliness, and depression. So it is a positive turn that stress might make a man broaden his beauty definition so he actually desires a wider array of women and therefore is more likely to land one. Think of it as life giving him a bit of stress to wake him up what his true potential is. But the other side of this point is that the kind of deflation of one’s self-esteem that stress can cause, and thus a broad sense of not being able to achieve ideals (in women, in jobs, in lifestyles, in ethics), can be caused by and lead to depression and lack of ambition. Men (and all of us) should be reaching for our ideals, though not to such high ideals that we never achieve them.

My sense is that stress is causing men to regress into their more primal past and thus to carry out the dictates of evolution as opposed to culture. They are looking to women who display signs of health and wealth and fertility, which is often a plumper woman, and has been so at other times in history. Today, the skinnier woman is the beauty ideal because she is seen as having the leisure time and the drive to achieve physical fitness. But this is also a very culturally determined ideal. Men who feel burned by the culture because they can’t get a job might be unconsciously turning away from the cultural ideal in a gesture of resentment.
Another thing that this study calls up is also seen among men in my practice. They report that when their wives or girlfriends aren’t feeling positive about their bodies, they seem to want to visit stress upon their man. Clearly, there’s a reason for this, and it’s because a stressed out man is more likely to find them attractive. But clearly there are also better ways for women to go about this, like doing what it takes to feel better about their bodies.

In the end, we see that stress is a very powerful determiner of our choices, and that it has deep ramifications in our lives. It has been called “the modern killer,” and that is definitely true. I find it fascinating that the researchers were able to create stress in their subjects by having them do a mock job interview and a complex math problem. Ultimately, none of us should be accepting or supporting the kinds of stress that make us lessen our ideals or make us feel depressed. Nothing matters all that much. We should just chill and look for love, in whatever shape it takes.

See me chat with Tom Sullivan on Fox Business News on this topic:

31 Jul

Nude Awakening: The Troublesome Threesome

By    |   Tuesday, July 31, 2012   |   Naked Advice   |   1 Comment

This is the first of many Nude Awakening Advice Columns where I will tackle your questions of sex, love, dating, and all that in between from the perspective of a Naked Therapist. The inaugural inquiry involves questions of inadequacy, insecurity, and the always troublesome threesome!

Dear Sarah,

I am an adult male and currently I am having some insecurities concerning sex and intimacy. I am an adult male and I have a small cock. I am currently in a sexual relationship with someone and I don’t think I am pleasing her the way she wants to be pleased! She loves to suck on my dick and says that my cum is really ”sweet and delicious” and she loves it when I give it to her anally, but when we have intercourse frontwise she barely even makes a sound and it really bothers me. Lately she’s been wanting us to have a threesome with another guy. I know him and I know he has a big cock, and I think she wants him in the mix because I’m sure he can satisfy her the way I can’t. I honestly don’t know what to do. Should I take her up on her threesome request or just walk away? Please let me know. Thank you so much!

First off, it’s so great that you can identify the times and ways you’ve pleased your partner! When struggling with insecurities—especially sexual ones—it’s difficult to recognize how sexy you actually are! It speaks a lot about your character and your relationship that you’re able to recognize the many ways you HAVE PLEASED your woman.

Believe me, not every gal is willing to have anal sex, let alone enjoy it!  And it sounds like your partner wishes there was an ice cream flavor inspired by your cum’s taste profile! I know a lot of men who would be jealous of your sex life :)

But it’s hard to focus on these great qualities when you’re preoccupied with your perceived shortcomings. It’s even harder when you start to compare yourself to other men. Which brings us to your question…to threeway, or not to threeway?

Normally, I’m an advocate of a little adventure (and company!) in the bedroom, but only if it’s something you’re curious about.  It sounds like in this case, however, you would only agree to the ménage a trois to please your partner. Which is honorable, of course, but in the long run could be destructive to your relationship.

Whether penis-size has anything to do with her motivation, your inherent insecurities (which are normal, and TOTALLY common, by the way) will make you interpret each action from the lens of inadequacy. While she very well might just want to add a bit of spice to your sex life, it’ll come across as her dissatisfaction or wandering eye. And how could that possibly help your relationship? This may be a pandora’s box best left unclosed.

That being said, I don’t think you should walk from the relationship. It sounds like your partner is supportive, and sexually attracted to you…don’t let yourself convince yourself otherwise! My biggest piece of advice to you is to open the communication pathways so you can stop guessing. Ask her why she doesn’t make noise when you do it from the front. Ask what appealed to her about a threesome. And work together to find adventurous alternatives that you would both enjoy. Consider toys and dildos for extra stimulation, or if it’s a stranger she was craving…try role-playing. Use your imagination for good instead of evil! Don’t conceive of all of the ways you may not please a woman…instead, conceive of all the ways you can!

Hope that helps :)

 

25 Jul

Treating the Male Hysteric

By    |   Wednesday, July 25, 2012   |   Naked Therapy Musings   |   Leave a comment

It’s time to accept that Naked Therapy may be the best way to prevent uncontrollable acts of arousal frenzy like those committed by former US Congressman Anthony Weiner.

First published August 25, 2011

Just over two months ago US Congressman Anthony Weiner (D-NY) resigned for sending sexually suggestive images and messages to women via his Twitter account. During Weinergate, one question was constantly asked by the media – How could he? Youngest member ever of the NY City Council. Chuck Schumer protege. Married to an aide of Hillary Clinton. The epitome of a rising political star. How could he commit such life- and career-destroying acts that anyone in his right mind could have foreseen as ridiculously risky?

Yet, like many questions designed to gain ratings instead of answers, it was ill-posed. Anthony Weiner was not in his right mind when he committed those acts. He was in his arousal mind. For Anthony Weiner, along with millions of other men today, is a male hysteric. Unfortunately, the “treatment” typically given to male hysterics is completely ineffective due to the resistance among psychologists to develop a 21st century diagnosis and response to this disorder.

As we’re about to see Maggie Gyllenhal and Hugh Dancy Star show us in the movie Hysteria, in the 19th century, female hysterics (and psychologists looking to treat them) were everywhere. These women displayed a wide array of symptoms, including faintness, nervousness, insomnia, fluid retention, heaviness in the abdomen, muscle spasm, shortness of breath, irritability, loss of appetite for food or sex, and more. Some estimates claimed that almost 1 in 4 women was hysteric, and because it was simply seen as a response to the stressors of modern life, one American physician proudly noted that hysteria in the new world was on the rise, proving that the USA was catching up to Europe.

Starting in the late 19th century, treatment of the female hysteric took two parallel routes. At a physiological level, dildos, vibrators, and pelvic massage techniques (and machines!) were invented to generate “hysterical paroxysms” (aka orgasms) that were thought to ease symptoms through purgation. At a psychological level, Sigmund Freud analyzed female hysterics (whom he later recategorized as having anxiety neuroses) and began positing many of his classic concepts, including unconscious wishes overwhelming the repressive ego.

And while at that time it was rarely considered that there might be a form of male hysteria unique to men (for a fascinating look at how homophobia played into this lapse, see “Hysterical Men: The Hidden History of Male Nervous Illness” by Mark S. Micale), the time has come to correct this oversight and declare the painfully obvious – male hysteria exists.

Male hysteria is a state of being in which millions of men find themselves, and it is increasingly prevalent due to the anonymity, abstraction and accessibility of e-sex. Male hysterics (like female hysterics) display a wide (but different) array of (often contradictory) symptoms, including depression, isolation, chronic masturbation, excessive porn viewing, inability to keep commitments, rage, manic episodes, delusions of undetectability, erectile disfunction, and more. Further, male hysterics are prone to committing uncontrollable acts of arousal frenzy (like Anthony Weiner), just like female hysterics were prone to fainting. But the dynamic mental cause is basically the same in both genders – a stressful split in the mind between what one wants and what one is allowed to have.

And it is my assertion that just as it was therapeutically inept and unethical to treat female hysterics with bed rest, seclusion, bland food, and sensory deprivation, it is equally wrong to treat male hysterics with traditional therapy, sex addiction meetings, religious counseling or public acts of contrition. What male hysterics need – just like female hysterics needed a combination of psychoanalysis and sex toys (for no matter what you think about the effectiveness of either, both were a step forward for women) – is Naked Therapy.

When a man meets with a Naked Therapist, the two conduct therapy together that involves many of the same techniques as traditional therapy (talking, questioning, suggestion, free association, goal setting, etc.), but the sessions also facilitate the client discussing himself and his experiences while in a state of arousal so that he can begin to gain insight into the thoughts, feelings and choices he has under the influence of his arousal mind. This arousal mind is activated in different ways for different clients. For some it’s the removing of the Naked Therapist’s clothes, for others it’s talking sexually or about sexual issues with the Naked Therapist, and for others it’s simply having the Naked Therapist listen to and be supportive of their desires and concerns.

But whatever it is that arouses the client, the central issue is that by being aroused in a therapeutic context he begins to be able to understand himself in a state of arousal, gain control over his arousal mind and thus prevent future acts of life- and career-destroying arousal frenzy. He starts bridging the stressful split between what he wants and what he is allowed to have. He learns how to act responsibly when aroused. And, yes, he often experiences “hysterical paroxysms” that alleviate symptoms through purgation. But all of this is, in the end, good therapeutic practice for the male hysteric, for as Jacques Lacan says of the female hysteric is equally true for him: “In order to cure the hysteric of all her symptoms, the best way is to satisfy her hysteric’s desire.”

Undoubtedly, just as they did when doctors started treating female hysterics with strange new methods, conservative elements in society (and the psychotherapeutic institutes) will cringe and scream in protest. They will say that the female hysteric needed vibrators because she was suffering from a lack of sex, whereas male hysterics are suffering from a surfeit of sex. That Naked Therapy is just more porn. That encouraging the client to engage in sexual arousal with the therapist is potentially damaging to the psyche.

But as the founder of Naked Therapy and a practicing Naked Therapist, I know different. I know that my clients suffer from a surfeit of fake sex and that I can help them transition into real intimacy. I know that Naked Therapy is a valuable blend of talk and arousal (think Freud with a vibrator). And I know that what is damaging to male hysterics is the madonna/whore complex, which Naked Therapy dissolves by showing them that a woman can be both sexually desirable and intellectually powerful.

I know that my clients are engaged in Naked Therapy because they are male hysterics looking to free themselves of their symptoms so they can live freer, happier, more reality-seduced lives. It’s time we offer such men something more than outdated treatment methods. It’s time to accept that if you want to teach a man to swim in a world of infinite arousal, you can’t just talk to him about it. You have to put him in the water.

Background reading can be found in “Preventing Arousal Frenzy” and “My Response to Weinergate.”

by Sarah White, The Naked Therapist

25 Jul

Naked Therapy and Women

By    |   Wednesday, July 25, 2012   |   Naked Therapy Musings   |   Leave a comment

So, you might be saying “Okay, but how does all this talk about nakedness and arousal in the therapeutic context apply to women?” Good question…

As a May 2011 article in the NY Times pointed out, therapy in America is being “feminized” (their word, not mine). Most therapists are women, and most patients are women. Men, in short, are opting out of therapy, which is, as I have said elsewhere, a bit of a global mental health crisis. Men are far more likely to kill themselves or someone else, commit a crime, end up as a substance abuser, etc. Men need therapy, but men aren’t going to therapy. That’s why, no matter what you think of it, Naked Therapy is a good thing – it gets men into therapy who might not otherwise enter it.

But I digress…

The reason therapy is being “feminized” is simple: conversation in and of itself arouses women. So women covet traditional therapy, which is great. I am all for women going to therapy and being aroused by a clothed conversation.

But Naked Therapy holds something for women, too. First, I think that there are whole psychological horizons that can be opened up for a woman if she engages in that arousing conversation with a Naked Therapist who physically arouses her as well. Most women aren’t as in touch as men with the physical arousal that comes from viewing a naked body, but I would assert that that is an indicator of a blockage and an opportunity for women to expand their sense of what they find arousing. In other words, Naked Therapy can help a woman discover new ways of being aroused, whether it’s with a male or female Naked Therapist.

Second, while most heterosexual women would shrink from the prospect of being in a Naked Therapy session with a female Naked Therapist, I believe such an experience could be extremely valuable for the feelings it arouses in the patient…feelings of anger, envy, fear, etc. For many straight women, facing what they feel when meeting with a female Naked Therapist can be the beginning to overcoming a lot of deep and difficult issues.

In short, I feel Naked Therapy can be a therapeutically valuable experience for a woman.

Originally published March 25, 2011.

16 Jul

Naked Truth Award: Dr Tara J. Palmatier and Shrink4Men

By    |   Monday, July 16, 2012   |   Naked Awards, Naked Truth Award   |   1 Comment

 

It’s a well-known and well-bemoaned fact that there’s a double-standard regarding men and women. We laugh at funny men, but squirm at funny women. We applaud promiscuous men, but admonish promiscuous women. We label aggressive business men as driven and ambitious, while aggressive business women are cold, hard bitches.

These social scripts pervade our lives, conservations, and media–and even though many of us recognize the half-truths and over-generalizations within these standards–they are still circulated daily, albiet sometimes with the haphazard disclaimer: “I know it’s wrong, but…”

But there are other gender roles and social scripts that are generally left undetected and unacknowledged by mainstream society: the double standard the rewards women over men. Because women are the minority, they have become the majority leaders when it comes to discussions of double standards, damaging stereotypes, and other demonstrations of gender inequity. But men face discrimination too. And any incredulity towards that statement just proves that point–men are expected to be the opressor, not the oppressed.

That’s what Dr. Tara J Palmatier’s website, Shrink4Men, aims to explore: the double-standards that men face, particularly as the silent victims in abusive relationships. Despite a name evocative of those 1,000+ emails spamming my inbox with promises of increased penis-size and pleasure, Shrink4Men offers a thought-provoking analysis of gender dynamics, sexual politics, and the psychology of relationships as Dr. Palmatier and her contributors shine a spotlight on this relatively unexplored issue. As the website explains:

“men who are in abusive relationships in which the perpetrator is a woman do not have the same support resources as their female counterparts. Much of society and support organizations refuse to recognize that men comprise approximately 50% of relational abuse targets or, worse yet, ridicule men who seek help for this reason. Many men in relationships with abusive women don’t even recognize that what they’re experiencing from their nearest and dearest is abuse. There are many double standards in our society when it come to what is acceptable behavior for men and what is acceptable behavior for women.”

Apart from exploring the overlooked community of male abuse-victims, the website also provides blog posts on topics ranging from gender issues to personality disorders, and a private and moderated forum with a strong community of men and women who support each other through their relationship difficulties, divorces, dating, parenting–and any other aspect of life. Dr.Palmatier also offers confidential consultation and coaching for both men and women who have been in relationships with abusive and potentially personality-disordered partners. This comprehensive website really provides an otherwise neglected community  with a platform for education, communication,  support, as well as tools for recovery into happy and healthy relationships for the future.

The Naked Truth Award is given to a person or organization that has somehow shown awesome bravery in standing up for truth, justice, health, freedom and/or coolness in our world.