It may seem counterintuitive for a sex-positive naked therapist such as myself to get behind the Asexual Movement. But that’s only if you limit your perceptions of asexuality. Many people mistakingly equate the asexual identity with an anti-sexual identity, believing that asexuals are judgmental, prudish, or freakishly repressed. But that isn’t the case at all. As the recent Atlantic article explains, asexuality just views sex with neutrality. It’s a concept difficult to grasp in our sex-driven, sex-crazed culture.
“It’s not that we talk about sex too much,” explains asexual spokesperson David Jay. “It’s that we celebrate sex in a way that is inauthentic. If we were to have a widespread, accurate discussion of sexuality — all the things that it means and doesn’t mean to people — that would include a discussion of the fact that sex is not interesting to everyone at some points, and that’s okay, and sex is not interesting to some people all the time, and that’s okay. Instead, I think what we have is a dialogue that fetishizes and celebrates sexuality, and equates it with the sum of our value and relationships.”
This dialogue, up until recently, hadn’t acknowledged the asexual identity let alone accepted it and embraced it as legitimate and true. But David Jay, and his online community ‘The Asexual Visibility and Education Network’ hope to carve a place for asexuals in our current culture. AVENs , as the website explains, has two objectives: “creating public acceptance and discussion of asexuality and facilitating the growth of an asexual community.”
While I always stress that society should never repress sexual expression or vilify the sexually liberated, it works in the reverse too. We can’t tell people that identify as asexual that their feelings are wrong or repressed. Society should never set your sexual scripts, period.
I personally can’t wait for the day where we can compliment people for being asexy!
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