It may seem counterintuitive for a sex-positive naked therapist such as myself to get behind the Asexual Movement. But that’s only if you limit your perceptions of asexuality. Many people mistakingly equate the asexual identity with an anti-sexual identity, believing that asexuals are judgmental, prudish, or freakishly repressed. But that isn’t the case at all. As the recent Atlantic article explains, asexuality just views sex with neutrality. It’s a concept difficult to grasp in our sex-driven, sex-crazed culture.
“It’s not that we talk about sex too much,” explains asexual spokesperson David Jay. “It’s that we celebrate sex in a way that is inauthentic. If we were to have a widespread, accurate discussion of sexuality — all the things that it means and doesn’t mean to people — that would include a discussion of the fact that sex is not interesting to everyone at some points, and that’s okay, and sex is not interesting to some people all the time, and that’s okay. Instead, I think what we have is a dialogue that fetishizes and celebrates sexuality, and equates it with the sum of our value and relationships.”
This dialogue, up until recently, hadn’t acknowledged the asexual identity let alone accepted it and embraced it as legitimate and true. But David Jay, and his online community ‘The Asexual Visibility and Education Network’ hope to carve a place for asexuals in our current culture. AVENs , as the website explains, has two objectives: “creating public acceptance and discussion of asexuality and facilitating the growth of an asexual community.”
While I always stress that society should never repress sexual expression or vilify the sexually liberated, it works in the reverse too. We can’t tell people that identify as asexual that their feelings are wrong or repressed. Society should never set your sexual scripts, period.
I personally can’t wait for the day where we can compliment people for being asexy!
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As an asexual, I’m glad to hear you support us
I do think I should be clear about something though – asexuality does not mean having a neutral view toward sexuality. Being asexual simply means you aren’t sexually attracted to anyone (but can still experience other types of attraction, have a sex drive & possibly even enjoy sex). It is a sexual orientation. While many of us are generally neutral toward sex, asexuals can have any attitude toward sexuality, be it negative or positive.
I’m very happy to see asexuality gain a wider acceptance. However, it’s not a view on sex. It’s a sexual orientation where people don’t experience sexual attraction to anyone/any genders. You may know this, but you didn’t make this clear in the article at all, which would confuse most readers since asexuality is not all that well known. But still, thank you very much for your consideration. Support like this does mean a lot.
Thanks for writing this article! I am a sex-positive asexual woman (I fully support people’s right to express their sexually in the way that is liberated and personally empowering… which in my case is by not having sex…). \
It’s wonderful to have articles that break through some of the myths and misinformation about our sexaul orientation!